Ending the Affair

I have tried to end the affair several times, but I always lose my nerve and get sucked back in by my uncontrollable sense desires. Last night, I made the resolve to go cold turkey.IMG_1082

My husband supports me, but he also practices detachment. It is his Buddha nature. I was honest up front. He came into the marriage with open eyes and promised to love me in spite of my ups and downs and struggles with this situation. I know there are groups for this type of behavior, but shame and embarrassment won’t let me seek them out.

It was only yesterday that I attempted to end temptation. I felt the cold rush of air envelope me one last time as I slammed the door saying, “Farewell, No more!”

My seducer lives too close. Due to our close proximity it will be hard to avoid further encounters, but I am adamant in my resolve to end this affair.

I am ending it for my own well-being, not because I’m married. My marriage is on solid ground. My husband is truly a Superman, who unequivocally means for better or worse.

It’s been twenty-four hours now. Making it to this point has been quite an accomplishment for me. I awoke at three am suffering from withdrawal symptoms. There was this incredible hunger and thirst gnawing at me from deep within. I won’t go into fifty shades of detail. Suffice to say it was a sensual dream. My lips were so close. No, I said I wouldn’t go there.

I put on a facade of normalcy and packed my husband’s healthy lunch. For breakfast, I handed him a plate of blueberry pancakes. I lavish him with savory treats like this often. It’s my guilt leaking through. He asked me why I wasn’t eating. I avoided the question and handed him whipped cream to go on his pancakes.

I watched him out the window as he left for work. I quickly showered, and took extra pains with my make-up. My car keys were missing. In desperation, I called him at work. He had them. It was just a mistake I told myself. He drove my car last. Did he think I was going to cave and have a rendezvous at Starbucks?

As I said, it’s been twenty-four hours now. Once I lasted seven days. Another time I lasted four days. I think there is hope. I’m taking it one day at a time

So, there you have it. I have resolved to end this affair I have with food. I slam the refrigerator door shut one last time. I just hope I don’t fall, totally, madly head over heels again once Valentine’s Day rolls around and my husband places roses and dark chocolates in front of me. Who am I kidding? I hope he reads this. Forget the flowers and just make it a double portion of chocolates. After all, dark chocolate is one of the new health foods, right?

Snow Walk


2015/02/img_1078.jpgInspired by reading “Wild,” both yesterday and today I trekked out on our farm trail. I was disheartened by some of the reviews on the book. One reviewer stated how easy she had it. I couldn’t believe this. This woman hiked the Pacific Crest Trail from California to Oregon, carrying an enormously heavy backpack, sleeping outside, not to mention, she was a woman by herself.

Yesterday I hardly got one mile. That is counting both directions as I turned around and came back home before I passed out. I was walking mostly uphill. The snow was anywhere from four inches to a foot deep. It was that crusty hard snow. Each step was like walking in cement.

Today, my goal was to make it a bit further. I did, close to two miles. The snow today started off much softer. Yesterday the temperature was in the twenties. Today it was in the thirties, and the sun had been shining earlier. But, as I got further along, the snow became crusty again. This was the part not touched by the sun. I ended up getting off the trail and walking down our half mile drive-way. My wobbly legs felt like they were walking on clouds at that point.

I hope to attempt it again tomorrow. On both days I was dripping wet with sweat, under my layered clothes. Hopefully, I burned a few calories.


2015/02/img_1073.jpgThis morning I finished reading “Wild,” by Cheryl Strayed. Maybe it’s because I love hiking, that I thought this book was so marvelous. I checked out the e-book version from the library, but now I want a hard copy, or at least to have it on my Ipad for further reference.

Maybe this is the year that my husband and I might hike just a small section of the Appalachian Trail. I have backpacked only once, with him, at the Red River Gorge, and only then for a couple of nights. Perhaps we might just do that again.

I was inspired to do this picture this morning. This is a section of our small six mile trail that we have forged out on our farm. Our small farm is sixty percent woods. We like it that way.

I have done easy hikes where I walked fifteen miles in one day. I know that I have walked that much per day while visiting New York City (mostly Central Park) and Paris, France. My husband and I once walked a small section of the Lewis and Clark Trail in Oregon. I will never forget that trail. It was astounding.

At this point, I am so out of shape. We have been snowed in for over a week with freezing and below freezing temperatures. But Spring is coming (I hope?), and time to start walking again.

Hiking Boot 1This is a pencil drawing I did in 2006. I can’t remember the brand, but these were probably the best hiking boots I ever had. They eventually fell apart.



Barn in Autumn



Beyond the 3o Day Painting Challenge. I am still only using my Ipad. There is a lot to be said for digital. For the last week we have been organizing photographs before the digital age. I date back to black and white. That gives you some indication of how many pictures there are. Still, we have more in the short span we have taken digital pictures. We have a closet shelf of art supplies and past work. That also dates back. The closet needs to be cleaned out. I think I will stick with the digital format for art for awhile. I already have enough clutter with my yarn and weaving supplies.




I wanted to keep up the practice of drawing, even if it is only on my Ipad. I love experimenting with the different things you can do, or in my case, attempt to do. It seems odd, after thirty days, not adding the link that started it all. I will anyway, because I’m grateful that she started this habit. http://lesliesaeta.blogspot.com/


2015/01/img_0988.jpgThis is Day 12 the 30 Day Drawing Challenge which can be found at: http://lesliesaeta.blogspot.com/

I was unsure if these really looked like eggs. I thought maybe potatoes after I finished. But I asked my husband, “What does this look like?” His first guess was eggs.

We are fortunate in that a good friend supplies us with eggs from his chickens. Getting our own chickens is a one day plan of ours.

Backside of Barn


This is not the picture I had intended on doing. I had originally wanted to do a picture of beets which may be for tonight’s super instead. But perhaps I will attempt to draw them before we eat them. This needs more work. I need to work on blending better. The trees kind of resemble telephone poles. I got lazy and left out branches. In places I got carried away with branches, and ended up taking them out – too much clutter. So, there may be more versions of this particular one, like the truck, on trying to get them as right as I possibly can. Maybe after 30 days I will have figured out better how to use this app, ArtStudio.

This is Day 8 the 30 Day Drawing Challenge which can be found at: http://lesliesaeta.blogspot.com/



Today’s Drawing



This is for the 30 Day Drawing Challenge which can be found at: http://lesliesaeta.blogspot.com/

Today has been a snowy, very lazy day for me. On my lazy days I resort to what is easiest for me, drawing a face. It is no one in particular, although maybe it might look like someone out there.

Juicing Joy

IMG_0969Juicing Joy – I have a weakness for alliteration. This is my second drawing for the Month of Art Drawings. I am doing these using Art Studio on my Ipad. That green blob to your right is supposed to be cabbage. You might recognize the carrot, celery and kale, and even an apple. For the most part my fruit seems to take on some ubiquitous neutral form.

The link for the Month of Art of January 2015 30 Paintings in 30 Days Challenge (doesn’t January have 31 days) is: http://lesliesaeta.blogspot.com/


A Month of Pictures


A friend posted a painting challenge in December, and I said I would try it, too. No, as Yoda said, “There is no try, only do.” I will do this challenge.

For the month of January, I along with almost one thousand others, have committed to doing a painting a day. I am taking the easy route, doing Ipad art. Maybe I will get brave and venture out of that comfort zone. We will see.

I recently wrote a story about two bad acorns. Thus, that is what this drawing represents.


Friday Fun — What did you learn from your writing?

athursdayschild has a long way to go and much to be thankful for.:

Being in the throes of NaNoWriMo I can relate to so much of this.

Originally posted on Live to Write - Write to Live:

Friday Fun is a group post from the writers of the NHWN blog. Each week, we’ll pose and answer a different, get-to-know-us question. We hope you’ll join in by providing your answer in the comments.

QUESTION: Did you learn anything from your writing projects and what was it? 

wendy-shotWendy Thomas: Well, I learn all the time from my writing. When I interview people I learn about their wishes, dreams, and work. For someone who loves to learn new things, being a journalist is a great job. Also, when I write my articles, I am made aware of what filters I put on my writing. A journalist must be unbiased and sometimes I have a tough time doing that. (We’re coming up on the Presidential Primary season in NH, I’ll be doing a lot of tongue biting.)

With regard to my work-in-progress, as mine is a memoir, each time I…

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