The Adventures of Butterscotch

Synopsis: A dog has a harrowing day, finds a hero and changes her name.

The Adventures of Buttercup Butterscotch

IMG_1385“Surprise!” Bernie removed his hands from Doris’s eyes.

“An amusement park?”

“Not just any amusement park. The Jungle Park. Action and adventure for the whole family, that’s what the brochure said.”

“But Bernie, there is just the two of us.” A slight whimper emerged into the air, and Doris covered her purse with her hands. “This is our second date, and we’re a little past the family stage,” Doris blushed.

“Did you hear something?” Bernie asked.

“No.”

“Do you want a piece of candy?”

“No.”

“Are you sure? It’s butterscotch.”

“Butterscotch? No.” Another whimper.

“Are you sure you didn’t hear anything?” Bernie looked around. “Oh, well. Let’s get in line for our tickets.”

“The gates are certainly big and pearly white,” Doris said, as she clasped tightly onto her purse.

“What do you have in that thing?”

“What?”

“Your bag. Sure is big.”

“Nothing, just stuff.”

“How about the roller coaster?” Bernie asked.

“Hmm?” Doris looked at him.

“For our first ride.”

***

Doris sunk one hand into the front bar, and the other one around her purse. “It sure is a long way down.”

“Don’t worry, Hon, I’ve got you,” He snuggled closer putting his arm around her. “”Whoa, what was that? Something moved. I felt something wet on my fingertip.”

Grrr.

  You have a dog in that bag?”

“He’s so small, Bernie.” Doris pleaded. “I just got him last week. I couldn’t leave him home by himself.”

Bernie looked at her and back at the dog’s minute head peeking from the purse. “Oh, well, no harm. He’s already here. Just keep him hidden.”

“She.”

A zillion screams began with the descent.

“What?”

“The dog is a she. Her name is Buttercup.”

“What?” Bernie shouted.

Millions of shrill dog whistles. I think I’m going crazy. We’re up so high. Don’t they know I’m scared of heights? Why didn’t she leave me home? Fill my food and water bowl, leave a few dog biscuits scattered around. Pop in a “Lassie” DVD? I would have been fine.

 ***

“The jungle boats, let’s head that way,” said Bernie. “Push that dog back down into your purse. We don’t want to get in trouble. What did you say his name was? Butterscotch?”

A herd of preschoolers ran by, talking and shouting all at once.

“Buttercup, and it’s a she.”

“What? I didn’t hear you Hon.”

“Oh, never mind.”

“Be careful, now. Don’t rock the boat.”

What are those sounds? They are coming from that jungle next to the water. Water! Don’t they know I can’t swim? What do they think I am? A lab? I’m a Dachshund, for heaven sakes. Look at these paws. Do they think I could maneuver in the water with these? And these ears. I’ll sink faster than an anvil. Oh, no, I remember my master saying pearly gates. I’m doomed.

That was a lion’s roar. I know that sound. He’s coming for the boat. I just know it. Dog overboard!

 “Bernie,” Doris screamed. “He’s headed for the falls. Do something.”

“What can I do? Butterscotch, Butterscotch!”

“She can’t hear you. The waterfall, it’s too noisy. And, it’s Buttercup.”

Is this what it feels like to die? I’m sinking, sinking. Everything is in slow motion. What is that sound? Is it the waterfall? No, I think it’s the sound of AUM. I’m going home. My life is flashing before my eyes. It’s times like these I wish I were a cat.

I’m caught. Oh, no, my red kerchief is caught on a branch. Now, I’m not only going to drown. I’m going to choke as well. What was my master thinking?

 What’s that? The hand of God? No, it’s Bernie. He’s saving me. You’re all wet, Bernie.

“Come on, Butterscotch, I’ve got you. You’ll be fine.”

It’s Buttercup, Bernie. Oh, never mind. You’re my hero.

 “Now where is the doorway out of here?” Bernie scratched his drenched thinning hair with one hand, while grasping onto Buttercup firmly with the other.

Oh, Bernie, I’m sorry. I bet that watch is ruined. What was that sound? A tiger, I’m sure of it. Are we lost, Bernie? I need to pee. Is that a real tree? It looks fake. The grass, it looks like AstroTurf. I’m sure of it. Is this even a real jungle, Bernie?

 “Do you want a piece of candy? It’s butterscotch, Butterscotch. No, I don’t suppose so. You might choke.”

We’re lost in the jungle, and you’re worried about me choking on a piece of candy? Bernie, did you just throw that wrapper on the ground? That’s littering. We are so, going to get in trouble. Oh, no, what was I thinking? Hansel and Gretel, right? You’re leaving candy wrappers, so we won’t go in circles. Smart thinking, Bernie.

 I see light, Bernie. You saved the day. You saved my life, again. You’re my hero.

“Sir, did you know you are not supposed to bring pets to the park? I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

***

“Bernie, Bernie, are you okay? And, my precious little Buttercup. Are you going to be all right?” Doris took her from Bernie’s arms.

Butterscotch, Doris. I’ve changed my name to Butterscotch.